BREAKING: Government Confirms Punk Music Cures All Illnesses

Doctors Outraged. Teens Rejoice.

“After decades of hiding the truth, the government has finally admitted that listening to punk rock at full volume is the most effective treatment for chronic sadness, boredom, and societal pressure,” says a health officials

The Science They Don’t Want You to Know:

Mosh pits increase circulation
Screaming along boosts lung capacity
DIY ethics reduce stress
Wearing a leather jacket makes your immune system 200% stronger

Stop trusting Big Pharma. Start trusting Black Flag.

“I threw away my meds and just listened to Dead Kennedys on loop. Now I can levitate,” claims anonymous teen source.

100% APPROVED BY PUNKS

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